Touch Grass is a crypto news site for people who are extremely online and slightly past saving.
We cover the stuff that actually happens in the trenches: the memecoin drama, the rug pulls, the liquidations, the filings nobody cares to read, the founders doing a runner, and the cope that follows all of it. The real news, reported properly, plus the occasional shitpost when reality isn’t ridiculous enough on its own.
Why we exist
Crypto moves at a thousand miles an hour and most of the coverage is either dry corporate press-release recycling or a 400k-follower account reposting other people’s tweets with zero added value. We thought the space deserved something in between: actual reporting, written by people who are deep in it, who can read a filing AND get a joke.
So that’s the deal. We go to the source. We write our own stuff. We don’t do “trust me bro.” And we try to be the thing you actually want to read instead of, well, touching grass.
What we cover
Real News — memecoins, markets, rugs, scams, regulation, and culture. The genuine, fact-checked stuff. If we got something wrong, tell us and we’ll fix it.
Shitpost — satire. Clearly labelled, completely made up, purely for entertainment. If it’s in the Shitpost section, it didn’t happen. Do not trade on it. Seriously.
Guides & Reviews — straightforward, no-nonsense guides and reviews of the tools that actually matter, from keeping your crypto safe to not getting wrecked by your own tax bill.
The important bit
We are a news and entertainment site. Nothing we publish is financial advice, and we are not financial advisors. Crypto is high risk, you can lose everything, and you should always do your own research before doing anything with your money. We just report on the circus. We don’t tell you to join it.
Get in touch
Got a tip? Spotted a rug forming? Think we missed something? Hit us up via the contact page or find us on X. We read everything.
Welcome to the trenches. 🌱